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Fifty years ago, on July 1, 1974, I lost one of my childhood friends, the victim of a single-car accident on Smith River Road in Bristol. I had known Ralph Irving since I was five, but that previous Saturday night, Ralph was a passenger in John Eastwood’s car when John failed to negotiate the steep curve near the Sterner residence. The car went down the bank and struck a tree, then a second tree, instantly killing Glenn Waring, who sustained a broken neck and fractured skull. Ralph sustained both internal and external injuries and died two days later at Mary Hitchcock Memorial Hospital in Hanover. Eastwood came out of the crash with chest injuries and a broken leg, and another passenger, Kenneth Dearborn, received a laceration on the side of his head. Ken was able to climb back up the bank and made his way to the Chet Walker Sr. farm summon help.
Meanwhile, my best friend — and the one who had introduced me to Ralph — Mauritz “Skip” Sterner, was living close by and, when he heard the crash, he went out to investigate and came upon the carnage. He rushed home to notify the police slightly before the Walkers put in their call.
I have a photograph of Ralph (which I could not locate on a quick search now) when he was around six-years-old. In the photo, he was clowning around, pounding on the door of the log cabin my brother, Eddie, had built in the pine forest behind our home on the Borough Road (now part of Smith River Road). That is how I still think of Ralph — engaged in silly antics — rather than the older version that I had mostly lost touch with.
Back in those younger days, our circle of friends was mostly those in the neighborhood — or, rather, the extended neighborhood, since homes were not as close to each other as they are today. When I met Skip, he was living about a mile away at a gas station-store-restaurant known as the Indian Trail on Route 3-A. Beyond him was Manfred Perron — who later also died in a tragic motorcycle crash — and Ralph’s home was a little beyond that, as one heads toward downtown Bristol.
The four of us would get together at times, and one in particular stands out. We were making our way down the steep slope between the Indian Trail and the Pemigewasset River, and I think it was Skip that handed out some Bazooka bubble gum — probably obtained from his family’s store. Inside the gum wrapper was a cartoon and a “fortune” and one of us opened it with the prediction, “You will lose a friend.” To our young minds, we took the message literally as we bushwhacked through the underbrush: One of us would get lost. We high-tailed it back up that bank to the safety of Skip’s house.
All these years later, the literal interpretation we had placed on the message in the bubble gum wrapper is not that far off. Both Ralph and Manfred are lost to us now. Skip remains one of my closest friends, but at a distance: He now lives in Great Falls, Montana. We may go years between visits, but we still keep in touch. We did get together last fall when Lee and I made a trip to Yellowstone National Park and made a side trip to visit him and his wife, Kye. It was as if there had not been years separating us, as we shared laughs and caught up with each other’s life.
I once mentioned the accident that killed Glenn and Ralph in a newspaper column pulled from the archives of the Bristol Enterprise, which brought an angry reaction from Ralph’s sister, Debbie. She thought the newspaper was opening up old wounds by focusing on the tragedy until I reminder her that I had been Ralph’s friend and that remembering Ralph was important to me.
Oddly enough, as these things go, “Little Debbie” ended up working with my wife at the Glencliff Home and they became good friends. Sadly, Debbie is no longer with us, having died in 2019.
It is important to remember those who have been part of our lives, not only to honor their memories, but also to remind us to appreciate those who are still around. It is easy to overlook how important friendships are until it is too late, and the end can come suddenly.
Café Chatter
On ‘A Cold, Or Old Age?’: I was shocked. Just a few days ahead of time he seems just fine. He seems fine now at his rally. I don’t understand what happened but, it did look terrible. An open convention seems unlikely unless something else happens with Biden that confirms that he is not up to the challenge. He still has my vote.
I liked all of them. I was very fond of Ralphie. He was a very sweet. Skip was really quiet. I enjoyed having you, Ed, and Skip next to me in English. We have lost too many already.